Happy Birthday, Paul

You don't have to read this post.  I am certain that it will embarrass my son if he were to read this.  Thankfully (for me), if there is one thing I am certain of, Paul will not be reading this.  So I reckon I can write all sorts of embarrassing things relating to his childhood.  I don't think I will though.  Let me say that I am proud to be the Mom of this bright man.

He entered this world in a big hurry - three months preemie - basically sent home when he weighed just a smidgen over 4 pounds.  He walked at 10 months and spoke intelligently at 18 months. He still has the curiosity of a kitten.  When he was in high school, I actually had a teacher send me a letter Thanking Me for giving birth to Paul.  He was the one student she had waited a career for.  He was always a hard act for his younger siblings to follow.

Gosh Moms, do you remember the absolute awesome love you felt with your first born?  There was never a love so grand.  I couldn't take my eyes off of him.  I would actually vacuum while holding him in my arms!  Talk about smitten!

 The song playing now, You are my sunshine was his first favorite song.  I used to sing it to him when I would rock him - along with loads of other songs.  It would calm him down if he was fussy.  When he was about 10 years old, he came down with a horrible flu.  I was putting cold cloths on his feverish forehead.  I started to sing You are my sunshine to him.  He put his hand over my mouth and said,  "Never sing that song again.  It is too happy sad for my heart. "   Was it the bittersweet words, his fever or gasp! my voice that compelled him to make me stop?   I am still pondering that one. I guess for me that now whenever I hear it, I weep a bit.  Perhaps it is too happy sad my for heart as well?

He was the right child to be the first born.  He was just knowledgeable enough to be bossy enough.  His brother and sister still adore him, and quite frankly feel that they will never be his equal.  Now don't go asking me where that comes from!  I sure don't feel that way about my older brother!!

He is a married man now with a lovely wife of his own.  He is no longer my boy.  I remember all my life hearing the adage, "a son is yours until he takes a wife, a daughter is yours all of your life."  Paul was not mine from the time he left home for college.  I never have quite gotten over the fact that he grew up and left me.  I knew from the time he was born that he would never be mine for long enough. 

So to complete this terribly personal piece, I want to say that I have thanked God each day for presenting me with what I consider the first of many, Many blessings in my life.  Happy Birthday, Paul.
I only have one question - how come we don't celebrate Moms on the kids birthday?  We're the ones who carried that weight, were exultant in that final push into this world and spent years helping you to become who you are.  Oh well. I am a middle child. We middle children generally think this way.